Monday, April 18, 2011

The Right Way to be Right


“Actually Ogden, that’s not how it is”
As soon as the contradiction begins I can feel my body tense up in defense as my mind whirls for fallacies in my enemy’s offensive maneuver. Me wrong? About this? HA! No. I know what I’m talking about. I’ve read about this. I’ve had classes. I know.
“I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure I know how it works.”
Believe me. I know what I’m talking about. I’m right. You’re wrong.
“I heard that it actually goes like this…”
You heard? HA, pathetic! Let me help guide you back to the path of reality. See, I actually have looked into this. Your second-hand sources are meaningless to me. I will slay them and you will grovel at my feet!
“Well… Where do I start...”

And the “discussion”  (battle of prides) goes on. Who is right in the end? It doesn’t even matter. I was doomed to fail from the start. "Why?" you may ask. Because...

My motives were flawed from the start.

What was the purpose here? I wanted to prove that I was right, that I was a force to be reckoned with. I did not care about helping my friend out. I cared only about being right, and about him being wrong. Sadly, no good can come from such a motive. I only wanted to feed my pride by sucking his dry. For this disagreement to produce something worthwhile several things must change. 

#1: I need to be more worried about fostering an atmosphere where the Holy Ghost can teach both of us what is right. On my current path I am definitely not doing that, and therefore this conversation will not result in edification or enlightenment. It will just result in a figurative head ache as we act like rams slamming into each other in a barbaric test of dominance, while the Holy Ghost leaves to avoid witnessing such immaturity.  
Remember: I’m should strive to support the Holy Ghost, NOT be the Holy Ghost.

#2: I need to actually want to learn. In this discussion I am so set in my ways that I am not trying to help us both come to truth. I am actually trying to drag him into my fountain of all knowing wisdom. Why even discuss these things if neither person is open to understanding? Am I so blind by my sure footing of being right that perhaps I cannot see a better way? Moreover, if I am right, am I actually trying to help that person see differently or am I just trying to prove dominance over them? And if, heaven forbid, I am wrong… will I be able to recognize it if I am totally narrowing in on the fact that I am right? 
Remember: I am not the Source of Truth.

So next time I start to correct someone, I need to first take into account my motives. Why am I doing this? Is this going to result in us both drawing closer to truth, or am I so focused on being right and am already heavily biased toward my opinion that I am confined to my little box of knowledge?

3 comments:

  1. Excellent points to keep in mind. I've learned that it doesn't matter how right I am, if I let it be a source of contention, I'm wrong too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Words of wisdom, Ogden; and I like Stephanie's comment, too. When we are passionate about what we believe, it can be a challenge to keep emotions from interfering with meaningful communication. Still, we desire others to know how we feel about those things that are so important to us. With humility and love, we can find a way to communicate without offending. I'm sure you found this to be true while serving on your mission.

    ReplyDelete