Annual Stresses and Other Observations

It’s been quite some time since my last post. With the start of school came the anticipated schedule changes, new work and academic loads, and the constant striving to maintain some form of balance and sanity. This led to having to learn how to cope with stress and taught me to rethink my priorities. Because of all this change, my goal to blog twice a month suffered, but now I’m back – and here is the story.

A few weeks into the semester I started to wonder “how am I going to get through all this?” I was becoming over stressed (close to the breaking point) with the pressures and expectations I place on myself. Despair started to set in. Something had to change.

The turning point came a few weeks ago in one of my most overloaded weeks yet. I had multiple projects to do, a load of assignments, and due dates were looming near. I was realizing that I don’t really know what field in Computer Science I really want to go into and the prospect of going to graduate school was becoming more of a reality. Basically, I was stressed, too stressed. I was almost to that level of stress where you’re about to go into the apathetic self-destruct mode, yeah, not a pretty sight.

In this moment I realized I must be doing something wrong. So with a simple sincere prayer, I was able to step back and see. I wasn't studying the scriptures daily, so my reception for heavenly help was being dampened. I wasn't using a schedule, so I was constantly busy but never accomplishing anything. I wasn't dividing my time properly, so things easily crept up on me, causing me to turn assignments and projects in late, fail in responsibilities, and interfere with social opportunities. I was beginning to realize the things that had to change.

 During this time, the Lord still blessed me with small tender mercies. A professor took time out of his lecture to discuss graduate school, another talked about time management and how he used certain techniques to maximize the results of his time. Some due dates were pushed back. Enlightening comments were made that helped with understanding projects. These all led me to make a change to the way I was dealing with life.

The Change:

I created a schedule (thank you Google Calendar for the tools and the semesters with Zach Panter for the inspiration) that showed exactly where my time should be going. I placed on it time to work on projects and which projects needed the most attention. I now have a certain time during the day set apart for studying scripture and I guarantee myself 3 workout sessions per week. No matter what - scripture study and working out WILL happen. My physical and mental well being depend on these. My stress level is never too high when these two things are present. Sure my work load still sets personal records, but so help me - my stress level WILL NOT.

The Results:

Since implementing my plan, my stress levels have been kept in check. I have accomplished my tasks on time. I have feel great. I am closer to The Lord. I somehow still have time. Now I just need to stick to my plan, make adjustments as needed, and get ready for the next lesson in life (hopefully it's one that includes a girlfriend... yeah...)

Misc:

I used the title "Annual Stresses" because after looking through my journal entries for last year and the year before - around the months of October, I realized that they all sounded the same "I have no clue how I'm going to get through this week..." In the past I just pushed through them. Hopefully with these changes I'll be better able to handle weeks like those, from now on out.

 

Here is a link relating to the time management concept my professor mentioned: http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/time-management-how-an-mit-postdoc-writes-3-books-a-phd-defense-and-6-peer-reviewed-papers-and-finishes-by-530pm/

Change: Ogden version 1.5.2

Story #1: 

     I was having a pretty deep conversation with a good friend of mine about several aspects of our single lives. Sadly these kinds of conversations don't happen too often, mostly because they're reserved for people who know me really well, for people who fall under the close friend range. These are the people I've spent the most time with and known the longest; the ones I feel understand me, my perspective, and the journey that got me to my current stage/position in life. The only people who know me better are family. (anyways, I digress. Back to the topic)

     During this conversation I started to come to a realization that I have changed. This particular friend and I met almost two years ago. I thought about how I would have addressed the topics of our discussion had it been when we first met. The conversation would have been completely different. So many experiences and thought provoking situations have occurred since then that influenced my thoughts and even characteristics into what they are today.

Story #2:

     A few days after said conversation, I was reading a note that a different friend had posted on facebook talking about their certain likes and opinions, many of which I didn't know about this friend (which goes to show that I'm definitely not in the close friend range, they aren't in mine either). I noticed that this particular note was published two years or so ago. Had the above conversation not happened, I would not have noted the date, but I did, and here are the thoughts that tumbled into my mind. How much of what was written in this note had changed? What was still applicable to this friend? Can I consider this the same person that I know today?


The Point: An Example of a Change and Why I Am Posting This
     
     Here's an example of change in myself. Two years ago (two years seems to be a common phrase in this post) I was taking English 150, the beginning college writing class. It was the first English class since high school (3 years before) and would require essays, the first essays written since graduation. The first paper was an opinion editorial where, if memory serves me correctly, we had to form an opinion and write a paper using different forms of rhetoric to persuade people to our side. The finished product was Pre-mi and Prejudice (I've uploaded it to skydrive so that you can read it if you would like.) I told my friends about it, posted it in facebook for extra credit, and it was a hit. This was the start off essay that helped spark my enjoyment of writing  (High school English never did that job). I loved crafting the words and styling the argument to make it as powerful as I could. I was satisfied with my paper and my position.

     Now, with two years more of experience, I can say that I do not agree with some of my arguments in that paper. I have changed, and so has my position. Now anyone who reads that paper today, not knowing me that well, would form in their mind a mental outline of my characteristics and personality, what I like and what I don't. Because of their outdated sources, there would be errors in their assessment.

   I need to keep this in mind when I'm trying to figure someone out. What they said yesterday might not be what they believe today. And not only might it not be what they believe today, but who is to say that I understood them in the first place. Do I know them well enough to even come close to understanding their thought process? Do I know the major events that have shaped their lives? Taking social media into consideration makes this even more important. Do I know the cause of their status? Do I know the full story? If they wrote that a few years, months, or even days ago, does it still apply?

    In the end, everyday we change a little, some days more than others. The Ogden two years ago is a lot alike to the current version, but there are key differences. Think of the Ogden two years ago as Ogden version 1.0, and the current release as Ogden 1.5.2 - A lot of him is the same, except for some very important updates and bug fixes (yes, that was a CS related analogy, roll your non-nerd eyes now). (If this is hard to get, think of the how windows 95 and windows 7 are both windows operating systems, just 7 is an improvement. Think of how facebook has changed over the last few years.) If that doesn't work,  then think of the person you were two years ago and compare. Yeah, I think you're getting the picture.

     Life is about progression - improvement. Sometimes the next version isn't the best (Vista cough cough) but hey, change is needed and improvement is required. So don't be surprised when Ogden 1.3.1 - the version you met a few months ago, has been updated with the latest and greatest 1.5.2. Because believe me, I'm always trying to make it better and better, more and more true to its potential. Who knows, maybe tomorrow or next week 1.5.2 will be upgraded.


*The version numbers do NOT have any meaning behind them, so please don't hurt yourself by trying to figure it out.
** The friends mentioned above are anonymous and I'm keeping it that way.

Life and Risks

Give up? Me? HA! I laugh at the thought!

Whether it is from the pinewood derby events from childhood, programming, or biking, the lesson is the same: giving up gets you nowhere! Although it might look real good at the time – giving up always leaves an aftertaste of regret.

So why give up? 

For me the answer lies in fear of failure. Think of “Man vs Fear” and how I basically gave up because I was afraid of failing.  I’ve noticed, however, that some failure doesn’t bother me, and most of the time I’ll keep on pushing hard even though failure seems imminent.

Most of these come in the form of competitions. If I’m in – I AM IN! Even if I’m in last place, I’ll do my best until I finish. I’m not afraid to push the envelope or step outside my comfort zone to win. Don’t get me wrong – I handle losing just fine. We’re well acquainted, but regardless of not winning, I still find satisfaction in knowing I did my absolute best. Now this applies well with competitions and games, but I find a problem when the game focuses in on the social arena.

Fears in the Social Arena:

Here is where I become paralyzed the most, where I feel anxiety as I think of/attempt to push past my comfort zone, and here is where I often quit before I even get started.  Having reflected on this, I believe I am scared of what people, who don’t know me, think of me. How debilitating! The people who matter the least cause the most stress! My friends know me well enough to have a good understanding of my character, values, likes, dislikes, strengths – who I really am, that I’m not concerned with what they might think of me if I act crazy or do something really random or spontaneous. My family and really close friends – even more so! Because they know who I really am, I am not concerned.

So now what?

Well the buck stops here!

I declare independence from my fear of the opinions of the masses! 

I will no longer let them have control over me 

(even if they happen to be awesome available women that I’m interested in)! 

NO MORE!

From now on I declare war on my small comfort zone, 

war on my debilitating and unnecessary reservations!  

 War on the fear that has been holding me back!

I know that victory won’t be easy, but nothing worth doing is EVER easy.
It will take time. I will fall, but more importantly, I will stand back up.
Giving up is not an option.
Giving up gets me nowhere.
I’m done with the aftertaste of regret.
Time to take chances, get messy, and make mistakes!
(Thank you Magic School Bus.)

Look out world because Ogden is out!

 Here is a video I found a few years ago that I really enjoy. It goes along with this theme. 

MYOB

So I wrote this a week or so ago after listening from a friend about how some drama unfolded. I was feeling the same way as this friend of mine, so I wrote down my thoughts - in a structured like way. I'll probably keep adjusting it and maybe one day turn it into lyrics or a poem of some kind. I'm posting this now because I have a goal of 2 posts per month, so it's time!
----------------------

Don’t call dibs on me!
Don’t claim me as your own.
Just because you like me does not
mean that I like you!

Don’t tell me who I should date.
You can suggest names but there are
No guarantees, no promises.
Just because she likes me, doesn’t
mean that I like her.

When you see me with another girl,
dating, smiling, and having fun,
Don’t call her a slut behind closed doors,
or tell lies back and forth.

Don’t complain, don’t compare
Don’t get mad, don’t attack.
Don’t spread crap about how she used me,
Blinded me, or wooed me.

She isn’t evil. She didn’t use me, 
She didn’t manipulate, she isn’t the trash you say.

Truth is – I chose her.
She didn’t win, you didn’t lose.
This isn’t high school, this is life.
Life isn’t fair. Get over it.

Don’t be mad at her, she didn’t do anything against you.
Jealousy doesn’t suit you. Green isn’t your color.
Don’t be mad at me, I’m not worth the negativity.
I’m not worth the pain your putting yourself through.

Goals for Summer

Summer break is finally here!

Class is over, finals are done, and I’m ready to NOT have hw, class, or anything remotely related! 

Thank goodness, SUMMER IS HERE!

So this summer I wanted to have a few goals/plans to make this summer awesome. So here goes!

1: Play more guitar! 

          I have a list of songs I want to learn and now I have the time to do it. Summer break when I build up my repertoire, and when school is in session I just play them all (over and over and over again) for stress relief. Last summer was when I really started learning songs people actually knew (think Jack Johnson, Cake, Johnny Cash ...) instead of random finger-style blues pieces. It’s been great to actually have songs to play and sing to. Let’s double my current small selection of songs I play (when your roommates can name all the songs you know, it’s time to expand). If you all have any suggestions for songs to learn, I’ll consider them – NO PROMISES!

2: Bike more! 

          Because of the heavy school/work load, during fall and winter (and spring – thank you linear algebra!) my miles really take a dive. Time to train back up. I’m thinking 3-4 times a week. Mostly 20 and 30 miles a ride and then a long one around the weekend. Gotta get ready for the 100 mile ride with Zach in fall. I just bought some more gear as well. I can’t wait! So many rides, so many places, oh this is going to rock!

3: Date more! 

          Yes, I know, this is a given – especially since I’m pretty sure that since January I’ve been asked out on more dates than I’ve actually done the asking. It’s one of those kinda embarrassing yet cool all at the same time things. Cool that I’m asked, embarrassing that I haven’t been asking. I was really good about dating, but when school buckled down I let up on it. So yes, ladies look out, Ogden is back in the house. Do I have a few girls in mind? It’s possible ;)

4: Type up the mission journals. 

          The people who follow this blog might have noticed a “post” that said was titled “Posting to a Previous date” and was from "4 years ago". Yeah, I figured out how to make it look like a post was made years ago. I’ve been worried about losing my mission journals so I’ve started typing them up on my computer. I started thinking that if I could put them online (hidden of course) then it would be safe. (If a fire happened, my computer could be destroyed along with the journals). So I’m starting a blog that will have my mission journals on it, a post per entry, with the correct date. Sweet eh? Yes. And it will be hidden, so no – no reading it yet. Maybe one day. We’ll see.

5: Read Read Read!!! 

          I’ve always loved reading! I’ll read almost anything and this tendency isn’t conducive to a productive school year – sadly. Every time fall semester comes around I have to force myself to stay away from the library. In winter I took a Russian Literature class where we “had” to read up to 80 pages or so per class (best assignments ever!). The class introduced me to a lot of books that await my reading hungry eyes. If you would like to check out what books I’ve read, reading, or am going to read, check out: MyGoogleLibrary.

Well those are my immediate summer goals. They should keep me occupied until the school train comes around again. I have two and a half months until it comes to pick me up. Let’s enjoy the break while it lasts!

Love and The Lessons Learned

“Hey Ogden, you married yet?”


“You dating anyone?”


“It’s your turn Mills!”


“Did you hear what President Monson talked about? Doing anything about it?”


“Hey, I know the perfect girl for you”


Now before you get all excited, I want to clarify that this isn’t a rant. The people who pose these questions need not be offended; I appreciate their concern. This post is more of an explanation, or maybe a declaration. It could even be a comfort to those who seem to be stressing out about my relationship status [you know who you are]. Anyway, let’s proceed…

So, why am I not married (or, more pertinent perhaps, why still single)?

Honestly, I don’t really know. I go on lots of dates and I’m not skirting the issue. I would like to think that maybe Michael Buble’s coined phrase “I just haven’t met you yet” is applicable, but maybe I have met her. It’s possible.

But the last two years haven’t been without many lessons regarding this subject. Each girl I get to know helps to teach me about the girl I’m going to marry and, more often than not, about myself.

Lesson: Open Honest Communication

          Can I talk openly and honestly about anything and feel that the other is doing the same? Do I have to
     be cautious, wondering if my thoughts will be subjected to ridicule or dismissal? Can I trust this person
     with my secrets and yearnings? Do I feel that I have to play a part, or keep to a script?

          All the girls that I have really liked all had one thing in common: I felt like I connected to them. I could
     talk openly and honestly about anything, and just as important, there was balance. I could talk and so
     could she; there was sharing. Often I have been able to recognize this “trait” within minutes of meeting her.

Lesson: It’s got to go both ways

    Ok, I’ll be frank. Timing sucks! At least so far it has. I mean:

1. The girl has to like you too.
2. You have to suck up the courage to do something about it before it’s too late (Think of Man vs Fear)
3. She has to be available.
4. ...

          So what do you do when stuff doesn’t go your way? Keep kickin, learn from the mistakes, and rock
     on. Although I still have issues with #2, I’ve made a lot of improvements.

Lesson: Moral Strength. Period.

          If I want to have a relationship with someone who loves God, is obedient to Him, and does her best,
     then I need to be that way. I have to be striving to be what God wants me to be. If I expect/desire certain
     characteristics then I have to have those as well. All of this sounds pretty basic right? But implementing
     this is a whole different story. *Please note that I’m not talking about perfection, I’m talking about
     attitude, about dedication, about those small things God asks us to do.

And the lessons go on.

Now that you have read this, here are a few things I don’t need you to do:

• Analyze yourself (if you’re a girl) or anyone else to see if you/they would be a “perfect” match.
• Teach me a lesson or give me advice. I have plenty of sources already and I’ve probably heard it before. If I want it I’ll bring it up in an open and honest discussion.
• Leave some remark about an “opportunity” I passed up or an “option” I missed out on. I’m sure it has already been brought to my attention, either by myself or by others.

Feel free to:

• Think about the kind of person you are. How you can change.
• Laugh. Smile. Laugh.
• …

*All opinions herein may change over time and are subject to many interpretations and viewpoints. Remember: I’m a person. I change. 

** Please don't feel that this changes an aspect of a friendship that we may have. If you are use to asking and discussing my dating life with me [once again, you know who you are] please note that nothing has changed. (Felt that I should put this since a friend already asked.) 

Define Stalking...

Stalking: to pursue obsessively and to the point of harassment.

Since the advent of Facebook, the usage of the term “stalking” has risen dramatically, and accompanied with that comes a load of new connotations. Think about it.  I know that in high school the word was reserved for guys creeping my lady friends out by following them, making harassing comments, and other rightfully condemned behaviors. Today, by running into a girl twice or so in one day, a good-natured guy can be called “stalker”. Bring in Facebook and you have a whole new world to apply this label to. I mean - heaven forbid that you mention a status update of an acquaintance, for although it appeared on your newsfeed, you’re a Facebook stalker.

 Now before you all start shouting “sexist!” let me also say that guys over generalize this word as well. A girl sits near you, comments on your Facebook, and strikes conversations with you often – then obviously she’s either stalking you or she is going to be a potential next girlfriend. 

I’ve heard a phrase, “What’s the difference between your boyfriend and your stalker? You like your boyfriend.” Well, I hope by definition that your significant other isn’t “pursuing [you] obsessively and to the point of harassment” because that is just wrong. (I’m pretty sure that kind of behavior is not conducive to a healthy relationship. Just saying)

I guess I’m just tired of “crushing on someone” = “stalking”, and “browsing extremely public information” = “stalking”, “having a good memory regarding conversations with that person” = “stalking”,  …need I go on? Honestly I haven’t met that many stalkers and honestly “stalking” is (at least in my book) pretty far from a term of endearment. And let’s get real, if you were attracted to the person you probably would be flattered and excited, instead of handing out the stalker sign. 

FYI: No one has called me a stalker. This post was prompted as I recalled multiple conversations and debates that I’ve had with roommates and friends. To make sure I’m not a hypocrite, feel free to “Facebook stalk” me as much as you want. I put the info up there, I set the privacy settings, so if you make it through without having to circumvent any system or “pursue obsessively” then heck, have fun.

The Right Way to be Right

“Actually Ogden, that’s not how it is”

As soon as the contradiction begins I can feel my body tense up in defense as my mind whirls for fallacies in my enemy’s offensive maneuver. Me wrong? About this? HA! No. I know what I’m talking about. I’ve read about this. I’ve had classes. I know.

“I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure I know how it works.”

Believe me. I know what I’m talking about. I’m right. You’re wrong.

“I heard that it actually goes like this…”

You heard? HA, pathetic! Let me help guide you back to the path of reality. See, I actually have looked into this. Your second-hand sources are meaningless to me. I will slay them and you will grovel at my feet!

“Well… Where do I start...”

And the “discussion”  (battle of prides) goes on. Who is right in the end? It doesn’t even matter. I was doomed to fail from the start. "Why?" you may ask. Because...

My motives were flawed from the start.

What was the purpose here? I wanted to prove that I was right, that I was a force to be reckoned with. I did not care about helping my friend out. I cared only about being right, and about him being wrong. Sadly, no good can come from such a motive. I only wanted to feed my pride by sucking his dry. For this disagreement to produce something worthwhile several things must change. 

#1: I need to be more worried about fostering an atmosphere where the Holy Ghost can teach both of us what is right. On my current path I am definitely not doing that, and therefore this conversation will not result in edification or enlightenment. It will just result in a figurative head ache as we act like rams slamming into each other in a barbaric test of dominance, while the Holy Ghost leaves to avoid witnessing such immaturity.  

Remember: I’m should strive to support the Holy Ghost, NOT be the Holy Ghost.

#2: I need to actually want to learn. In this discussion I am so set in my ways that I am not trying to help us both come to truth. I am actually trying to drag him into my fountain of all knowing wisdom. Why even discuss these things if neither person is open to understanding? Am I so blind by my sure footing of being right that perhaps I cannot see a better way? Moreover, if I am right, am I actually trying to help that person see differently or am I just trying to prove dominance over them? And if, heaven forbid, I am wrong… will I be able to recognize it if I am totally narrowing in on the fact that I am right? 

Remember: I am not the Source of Truth.

So next time I start to correct someone, I need to first take into account my motives. Why am I doing this? Is this going to result in us both drawing closer to truth, or am I so focused on being right and am already heavily biased toward my opinion that I am confined to my little box of knowledge?

Good Timber - Hard Life

Good Timber
By Douglas Malloch

The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth,
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.
 

Self-Esteem and Losing Yourself

“Today I’m on top of the world! Nothing can stand in my way! I got this! I can do anything! I feel great! I look great! Let’s do this! …”

“I feel so ugly. It’s a wonder why people even smile at me in passing. Life sucks. No one likes me, wants to be with me, or even cares. Why can’t I be attractive like that person over there? Why can’t I be more caring like them? Why am I never good enough!? …”

“Oh yeah! Check me out! I feel good nana nana nana na!”

“I just want to cry…”

“I love life!”

… and the circle continues…

Have you ever felt like that? Maybe even all in one day? Isn’t it crazy? I have gone from feeling way optimistic about life to being down in the dumps all within the matter of a few hours, sometimes even less. This became extremely apparent while I was serving a mission in Russia. Holy Cow! I’d wake up ready to rock, by dinner I’d be so downtrodden that the only reason I went back out was because my companion and I needed to, and by the time I got back the world was once again a bright place (and yes, doors were slammed the entire night, but that didn’t matter).

I remember recognizing that pattern while going over a few journal entries and recording “Emotions cannot be trusted! … I was feeling down. Went out. Feel great now. … emotions don’t seem to be stable enough to use as a judge for decisions” ( Monday November 3, 2008). Of course, that entry is a bit drastic in its conclusion.

So what was going on? And how could I fix this? What did I need to do to keep myself feeling better more regularly, experience less rapid emotional change, and strengthen my self-esteem so that it wasn’t so varying?

Self-Esteem: The judgments we make about our own worth and the feelings associated with those judgments

It’s those harsh judgments and feelings that keep getting me down. I’ve been wondering what I can do about it but for a while I didn’t really know. The answer was in front of me the whole time. 

Matthew 16:25 - For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

My Human Development Professor used this scripture in reference to self-esteem. As I stop constantly thinking about myself and my self-image and instead focus on helping others and becoming more charitable I will be more confident, my self-esteem more stable, and in the end I’ll be more Christ-like – which is the end goal. A key to happiness is to look outward and lose yourself in Christ. That brings the Spirit and that brings peace. 

And it is peace that we all desire, right?

Anyway, this has been on my mind since that lecture and I wanted to share some of the thoughts that came of it.

Have a great week!

Sacrifice, Self-Control, and Time Wasted

Subconsciously my hand drifts toward the keyboard, searching for the link. 

Automatically, upon opening a browser, my pointer shoots straight for the bookmarked page. 

Mind numbingly the refresh button is hit, not really expecting to find anything new…

Every few minutes that same tab is brought back up, but nothing has changed. 

The last page looked at is the first page opened, regardless of the original reason to open the browser.

All the while, I remain oblivious to what is going… hold up – I need to check Facebook – ok, where was I? oh yes, …oblivious to what is going on.

A few months ago I had a hard time understanding why some people felt a need for “a Facebook fast” or why a few acquaintances were quitting Facebook for a time, claiming it was consuming their time. I mean come on! What? You can’t control yourself? Is Facebook taking over? PATHETIC! (Gimme a sec, I need to check Facebook, maybe someone posted something) ok, where was I? Oh yea, PATHETIC!

But that has all changed.

You can say it all started with my roommate Zach, who regularly goes through phases of simplifying his life, such as leaving Facebook, consolidating his communication methods, and meticulously recording daily activities – looking for that spare second to help get the actual important stuff done.

During one of these phases, I was thinking about stuff that takes up my time, but I couldn’t come up with anything! Then one day at work I woke up. Seriously. I caught myself in the act described at the beginning of this post, though this time I was no longer oblivious. I watched my hand sneak toward my laptop, I caught my eyes lifelessly staring at the screen, glancing over status updates that had nothing to do with me. So I pulled everything back and focused again on the task at hand. And then I caught myself facebooking again, and again, and again…

Something had to be done.

So I do a few things native to a computer geek, and ta-da! Facebook pulls up a blank screen. I delete the bookmark and I get back to work. Suddenly I become aware of all the times I was trying to look at Facebook, since it no longer worked. I was so shocked that I laughed because I was unaware of how often I was wasting my time.

I now allow myself access to Facebook only once or twice a day. Having cut Facebook usage down by over 90% you might wonder what has come of it. I’ll tell you what: more guitar playing, more time spent on homework, better journal entries, more consistent morning scripture study, better focus at work, and the list goes on…

So why am I posting this?

Well since Facebook was a distraction, and I was obliviously losing self-control to it, then I wonder what else is keeping me from the real important things in life. What else needs to be sacrificed to gain back self-control and time wasted? Imagine, the more non-important things I get rid of the more time I have to spend on things I truly care about! Priorities priorities…

So I invite you to look back over your day or week and work on finding things you could cut out to get down to the important stuff. It might be hard. You might resist. You might deny that anything could be done differently. But if you take a step back, and maybe even pull a Zach and record meticulously your daily activities, you might find the lost time you’ve been seeking. 

By the way, on the day I lowered my Facebook usage, my other roommate, Andrew, uninstalled his video games for the same reason. He needed time. We think Zach is contagious. I’m grateful.

- and yes I realize the irony from the fact that you probably knew about this post because of facebook

Good luck!

Man vs Fear

Just staring at my locker. 

MeBrave: "Dude, I can do this"

MeNotBrave: "But what if she ..."

MeBrave: "So what!? I'm not going to die! I didn't last time! Come on! Cost vs Benefit? Totally worth it!"

Random Student walking by noticing my monologue: "Oh great, midterms got to this one"

MeNotBrave: "I can't, I'll sound stupid, I don't even know what to say!!"

...
(5 minutes later)

MeBrave: "OH MY FREAKIN GOSH! I've done this tons of times before! Get UP! GO in there! GET HER NUMBER!"

MeNotBrave: "FINE! I WILL! I GOT this! I got this! ummm... yea... i got this... "

MeBrave: "Seriously! 5 minutes and I'm still staring at my locker!"

MeNotBrave: "Oh dang, 5 minutes? Time to go, have to meet with the TA right now! Gotta keep the appointment!" 

MeBrave: "AH! Again!? Seriously!? Curses, next time I'll get it, next time for sure!"


Fear: be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event

Is fear holding you back? Is it keeping you from reaching your goals? What is it about fear that makes it so crippling? My answers: Yes, Yes, No idea, but can we get rid of it?

Throughout my life I've had to overcome my fears, and honestly, most of the time it turns out to be an awesome experience. From everything like riding my bike, going to school for the first time, talking in front of large audiences, being a leader, going to Russia... it has always turned out great! And those rare times when it doesn't work out, when fear is confirmed, it is never as bad as I made it out to be in my mind. Sure it hurt a little, but heck, it heals - and if it's anything physical then I'll get an awesome scar out of it!

So you would think that since I've overcome fear often, it would be a walk in the park right? Wrong. I guess each area that I fear I must overcome myself. This is where faith comes in. Faith - the opposite of fear. The fear of failure seems to be my biggest one. I'm sure the monologue revealed that. But faith - confidence in God, that he is in control and will stand by me - is what I need. Now don't get me wrong. I have faith. Just not enough.

Now let me clarify here. I have faith that I can do WHATEVER God wants me to. Any assignment, any challenge, any obstacle - it can be done. Perhaps what we (those who fear failure) are lacking is a greater sense of faith. Faith that no matter the failure - in the end it will all work out. (yes, it sounds cliche, but it's true). Faith that if we are living right, all our challenges will be for our good. Faith that we can do anything! Do you believe it? I should. I could. I WILL!

to finish off, I found this talk about fear: http://lds.org/new-era/1985/11/the-futility-of-fear
it states:

President N. Eldon Tanner remarked on one occasion, “One of the evils of the world today is not failure but low aim.” Just as we should not fear to fail, neither should we fear to aim high. There was no question of failure in the mind of Joseph the Prophet when, in the dark days of 1842, he penned the words: “Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory!” (D&C 128:22).

I say to you courage, young people! These are great times, and there are great things to be accomplished. Develop your talents; do not hide them under a bushel. Prepare prayerfully, increase in faith, and you will never have need to fear.

So, with that being said. Let's rock this. No more fear! No more hesitation! BRING IT ON!

and remember:
"If you've never failed, you've never lived."
“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” - Wayne Gretzky  

Let's Do This

So I'm starting a blog where I'll post my feelings, happenings, and adventures.

I thought I should start with an explanation of my title:
The phrase "Detour Ahead" originated from an attempt at a 100 mile bike ride with my friend Zach. An attempt because after almost every curve we would encounter a detour ahead sign. It happened so often that "Detour Ahead" became the title, motto, and theme of our eventful trip, and so it seems - the flow of my life.