"Would you date a CS girl if she were better than you?"
I instinctively start to respond in the affirmative, but am held back by my own reality punching me in the gut. Really? Am I about to admit this? "Ugh - you're right, it would be hard"
Computer Science is actually a horrible example to use because it's so broad. Two computer scientist can be geniuses in their own right and neither would be able to claim to be better. It's almost like trying to compare DaVinci and Angelo. But when pressed further "What if she were stronger than you in your strengths?" then I'm forced to say yes - it would be very hard, and all too easily avoidable.
This was started by a late night conversation with my roommates. "So you're going to go to Juilliard and find your self a pretty little piano major" to which the other replies "Nope - it wouldn't work, it would be too competitive"
We laugh but then he asks the question above and I suddenly had to cringe. I had never been confronted with this issue, thanks to a mix of low female enrollment in CS and how hard it is to compare and rank each other in the program. CS students tend to find their niche. My roommate - the stellar organist - has a clear ranking system. His talents are easily and often compared to others. He has confronted this issue before. We talk about how it's not a problem if the girl is a master at a different instrument or major, but when it comes close to your own, possible relationships fall to competition and avoiding the issue altogether easily skirts the conflict.
Earlier that day a female engineering friend told me: "I've had guys tell me they won't date me because we're in the same major"
At that time I totally couldn't understand, but then I was force fed some brutal introspection.
I can handle someone who is more athletic (yes, even in cycling), a better dancer, a faster reader, and a ton of other things - but beat me at a strong part of who I am - vocationally - and I see red.
Maybe this is culturally instilled, gender based, or natural - it really doesn't matter. I have a pride issue, and it has to go.
I instinctively start to respond in the affirmative, but am held back by my own reality punching me in the gut. Really? Am I about to admit this? "Ugh - you're right, it would be hard"
Computer Science is actually a horrible example to use because it's so broad. Two computer scientist can be geniuses in their own right and neither would be able to claim to be better. It's almost like trying to compare DaVinci and Angelo. But when pressed further "What if she were stronger than you in your strengths?" then I'm forced to say yes - it would be very hard, and all too easily avoidable.
This was started by a late night conversation with my roommates. "So you're going to go to Juilliard and find your self a pretty little piano major" to which the other replies "Nope - it wouldn't work, it would be too competitive"
We laugh but then he asks the question above and I suddenly had to cringe. I had never been confronted with this issue, thanks to a mix of low female enrollment in CS and how hard it is to compare and rank each other in the program. CS students tend to find their niche. My roommate - the stellar organist - has a clear ranking system. His talents are easily and often compared to others. He has confronted this issue before. We talk about how it's not a problem if the girl is a master at a different instrument or major, but when it comes close to your own, possible relationships fall to competition and avoiding the issue altogether easily skirts the conflict.
Earlier that day a female engineering friend told me: "I've had guys tell me they won't date me because we're in the same major"
At that time I totally couldn't understand, but then I was force fed some brutal introspection.
I can handle someone who is more athletic (yes, even in cycling), a better dancer, a faster reader, and a ton of other things - but beat me at a strong part of who I am - vocationally - and I see red.
Maybe this is culturally instilled, gender based, or natural - it really doesn't matter. I have a pride issue, and it has to go.
"The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” (Mere Christianity, New York: Macmillan, 1952, pp. 109–10.)" -
That's a very interesting thing to think about. I'm in a similar situation in that not very many men are Communication Disorders majors. But I don't really see how anyone could be a better speech therapist than another, so I don't really think I have that problem. haha. But I do see your point and agree that it would be hard.
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