Be a Man

Man: an adult human male.

I want to be a man. A real, successful man. A good man. Not a man defined by his body, his salary or clothes, but by who he is - something independent from those temporary conditions.

This elusive character which I'm striving to become can be seen in a sad few. Here is what I know about him:
This man is working hard to be a team player, one who can take the lead without taking over. He is not domineering or demanding, but calm and strong. He doesn't command, but he is followed. He trusts and is trusted. He genuinely loves, not by passive observation but by words and deeds. He isn't controlled by passion or attraction, but by his resolve to be good.

He works well not because he is enjoying it, but because he enjoys doing his best. He saves and spends well in order to provide for those he loves. He listens and cares. He sees himself as more than the breadwinner, but the provider of strength, faith, and love.

He protects the innocent, willing to jump between those he loves and threats, regardless of his size and skill. He not only defends from the physical, but the mental and spiritual as well.

Yes my friends, I want to be a man.

But for now I'm just boy on a journey towards manhood.

are we there yet? 


- Ogden

I'm Either a Pre-mi or a Menace to Society

Thanks to a few generous people, I was able to attend both Sunday sessions of General Conference. It was such a blessing to be there to hear the words of the current apostles and our prophet. But this post is not about the sunshine and spiritual butterflies accompanying conference. This fun side story happened afterwards.

Zach and I were wandering around temple square as our roommate and his girlfriend were off taking pictures. (We were tired of looking like body guards, and our PDA tolerance quota was quickly approaching critical mass.) At one point an elderly couple asked if we could take their picture in front of the tabernacle. Afterwards the husband turned to us and asked:

"So when are you guys going to serve?"

For a brief second I wasn't sure what he was talking about, since I haven't been confused with a pre-mi since I was 22, but I caught on and replied:

"We already have... [blablabla] Russia ... [blablabla] New York"

Once he seemed to ascertain our correct ages (at least within the correct decade) he moved straight for the inevitable:

"So when are you guys getting married?"

Yeah, the conversation died quickly as we parted ways with my answer "Sometime in the future" and "I guess we'll find out".


As a soon to be graduate, the pressure seems to be mounting but it's not from family, close friends, or even from my priesthood leaders. No, those who know me the best apply pressure the least. They know the effort I put into finding a spouse, the importance I give to obtaining and following God's will, how much I respect and follow the counsel of priesthood leaders. They know me and advise accordingly. I have righteous parents. If they felt there was a problem, please rest assured knowing that they would not hesitate to help me.

So when you, stranger, say that I should "make finding a spouse my top priority" and "stop hanging out"  please remember your place. Worry about your family. Counsel your family members. My support system is doing a great job, and there is no need to add you to their ranks, especially if all you have to offer are suggestions on what I need to change.

Now if you have an attractive and compatible granddaughter in her twenties, then we might be able to work out something mutually beneficial... 

Forecast: Spring fever with frequent gusts of twitterpation.

Spring is here! 

Hurray for Sunshine! 

Flowers! Adventures! 

and PDA...

To give you the best run down possible, let us remember the wisdom of our friend Owl:

Yes my friends, as a veteran of 4 springs here at BYU, I can assure you that the pattern is real. Soon you'll be plagued outside by cuddling couples, spooning on your favorite grassy study spot, giddily laughing at every pathetically flirtatious [and disgustingly romantic] phrase their partner can whisper. In the immortal words of Mushu, these couples have quite literally "...popped out of the snow, like daisies!"

At first I was always slightly annoyed every spring, but now as I've recognized the pattern I prefer to take it in stride. It can actually be quite hilarious, I mean - people watching in winter was never as fun. Sure you have to battle down nausea due to that one couple awkwardly feeding each other in the Talmage... but exaggerating the event to friends makes it all worth it. Think of the fun you'll have on Overheard @ BYU.

So as the sunshine returns from its long winter break, let us shed our coats knowing that we're about to find people a lot more attractive, and for good reasons of course. Consider about all the skin that comes out in spring. "OH MY GOSH, I haven't seen an elbow like that in months! WOW her collar bone is! ..." Yep, you may laugh but it's true. Now as you cross campus, silently laugh with me and enjoy the chemically raging sea of hormones, knowing that beer goggles couldn't compete with some people's bout of Spring Fever. 

But don't get too cocky - Owl is right. "It could even happen to you!"

Honestly, Owl my friend, I not-so-secretly hope it does. 

PS. Google "Spring fever" and enjoy the theories.

Would you, could you, with a CS major?

"Would you date a CS girl if she were better than you?"

I instinctively start to respond in the affirmative, but am held back by my own reality punching me in the gut. Really? Am I about to admit this? "Ugh - you're right, it would be hard"

Computer Science is actually a horrible example to use because it's so broad. Two computer scientist can be geniuses in their own right and neither would be able to claim to be better. It's almost like trying to compare DaVinci and Angelo. But when pressed further "What if she were stronger than you in your strengths?" then I'm forced to say yes - it would be very hard, and all too easily avoidable.

This was started by a late night conversation with my roommates. "So you're going to go to Juilliard and find your self a pretty little piano major" to which the other replies "Nope - it wouldn't work, it would be too competitive"

We laugh but then he asks the question above and I suddenly had to cringe. I had never been confronted with this issue, thanks to a mix of low female enrollment in CS and how hard it is to compare and rank each other in the program. CS students tend to find their niche. My roommate - the stellar organist - has a clear ranking system. His talents are easily and often compared to others. He has confronted this issue before. We talk about how it's not a problem if the girl is a master at a different instrument or major, but when it comes close to your own, possible relationships fall to competition and avoiding the issue altogether easily skirts the conflict.

Earlier that day a female engineering friend told me: "I've had guys tell me they won't date me because we're in the same major"

At that time I totally couldn't understand, but then I was force fed some brutal introspection.

I can handle someone who is more athletic (yes, even in cycling), a better dancer, a faster reader, and a ton of other things - but beat me at a strong part of who I am - vocationally - and I see red.

Maybe this is culturally instilled, gender based, or natural - it really doesn't matter. I have a pride issue, and it has to go.

"The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” (Mere Christianity, New York: Macmillan, 1952, pp. 109–10.)" - 

Beware of Pride, President Ezra Taft Benson

YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

"They wouldn't be a good match - she's too much for him"

"They would get along perfectly, I know it!"

"You really need to meet her, she's definitely your type!"

"Him, with her? Can't happen."

Bull. Crap.

I'm sick of people assuming they know someone well enough to make these calls. Their knowledge is so superficial it's laughable. They have only seen the person in a subdued setting under predictably boring circumstances. Character is never so easily revealed. These observers don't actually know the person they are referencing  Honestly, when we don't know ourselves well enough to make an accurate assertion, how could a minimally invested friend even attempt?

 One would think that after so many surprises like "They're together!? I didn't see that coming!" we would be a little more open minded about the possibilities around us. Just because a someone is quiet and seemingly agreeable does not mean they lack strength of character, or the skills necessary to enjoyably handle a "high caliber" date.

I think we would all be astounded to see the true natures of the people around us, because right now all we see is a carefully crafted cover, hiding its true contents from our passing glances. So instead of assuming so much, let's acknowledge that we don't actually know, but are open to finding out.

Feeling Fulfilled

It is not the strength of my skills alone that bring value, but what I do with those skills. For the last 4 years I have been working on a CS degree, but it will all be for naught if I use that degree for focusing on my own personal gain. If Paul were to speak today he might have said "And though I have software development skills sought after by thousands of companies, if I have not charity I am nothing." As I go on to further my skills and enhance my career, it is vital that I continue to check myself along the way and ask "Do I have charity?"

Inspired By: 1 Corinthians 13

Addiction's Growing Roster

Addiction finally acknowledging more of its MVPs. No longer are drugs, smoking, and alcoholism the only listed players. Commenters are now talking about pornography, gambling, food, and gaming. These not-so-fresh faces are finally getting the attention and ranking they deserve. These players come with their own advantages, not needing physical consumption to be extremely effective. Another plus, Team Addiction hardly had to do any recruiting themselves, leaving us - the defense - to supply their ranks. Food and Fun use to not make the cut until we bulked up their stats by giving way to self-indulgence, forgetting self-control, and by trying to find old-fashioned happiness in endorphins and dopamine. Gaming is not bad - we are, and until we figure out what we're actually trying to find we will just keep on adding to Addiction's roster.

Inspired by: Ensign Article: Just a Game?

Modesty: It's Not About Men

This bitter meme suggests that modesty's purpose is to help keep men's minds in check. This assumption is as shallow as the feelings behind it. Would God give a commandment because He knows that He can't expect His other children to act like 'decent human beings'?

Is modesty to protect us innocent men from our "uncontrollable" urges to undress in our mind (and in person) partially dressed women? A desire which apparently increases exponentially with every square inch of skin being shown? (weight being placed on breasts, legs, back, shoulders, abdomen ... - provided that they're in mediocre condition).

God did not say in the beginning: "We can't expect men to control their thoughts, so let's make it easier for them - I need at least some of them to return to Me. Women - be modest." I'm sorry - that is not taught in any scripture or spoken by the Apostles. We, teaching this principle, are placing the importance of modesty on the effect it has on men. This priority is false, and this meme shows the illogical nature of modesty centered on protecting men.

So why is modesty important?
Let's try a definition found on lds.org: Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to "glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit"

Modesty's sole purpose is not to protect men, but is to reflect our commitment to God: to glorify Him, to help invite the companionship of the Spirit. Now admittedly, immodesty distracts men (and women alike), but that is their own problem. 

Let's not forget, men need to be modest just as much as women. We need to be modest in our language and behavior JUST AS MUCH as in our dress. 

I invite all of us to consider why we are modest and how we explain it.

Over and out.

Tech Induced Change

Shirkey's "Here Comes Everybody," attempts dryly, and repetitively, to show how social changes come through the advancement of technology. A valid point in his work is that a technology affects social rules and opportunities only when it has fully matured into wide use and acceptance in society. Such great length of time shows innovators that they might not ever see the full effect their creation has on the world, if it has any effect at all. Innovators will never be able to fully predict the influence they will end up having, but must place confidence in their creation and let society figure out the rules regarding it. 

Technology - Virtue and Vice

Texting, chatting, surfing, double-checking. The one thing everyone is given equally is time. Time that can be used in building relationships, improving, and furthering a cause, all of which are enhanced by technology. Time is also used in aimless double-checking facebook, surfing randomly across the net, chatting meaninglessly with acquaintances, and texting instead of building friendships in person. Technology here acts almost as a hinderance. All of us must be aware of where our time is siphoning off to, and consciously direct that flow to avoid wasting our potential and finishing life in regret.

Interviewing Desperation

The STEM Career fair is the speed dating contest for tech companies to meet budding graduates. Thanks to supply and demand, future grads and internship seekers find themselves being fought over and, depending on the skill of the recruiter, fantasizing of future careers at the blessed company. Occasionally a desperate recruiter scares off potentials. Almost like the desperate girl who won't leave you alone, the one that you would probably be interested in if she wasn't forcing her presence on you like a nail into wood. A company this year (who shall not be named) was nigh unto coercing immediate interviews from any possible qualifying programmer. Let's just say that they have fallen into last place on my list, but hey - thanks for the practice. 

Position Vlog - Use Words Right

Some words have too much emotional (and legal) baggage to be handed out like candy.

Pwning Simply-Cool Programs

There are two types of programs in this world: Those that solve problems and those that don't. When a program is written with a real and important goal in mind it is successful. When it's done simply to "do something cool" it dies by the way side, starved of actual attention. However, hope is not lost. Simply-cool programs still have a chance to shine, but that comes after a serious makeover, transforming them from a technological show-off to a purposeful instrument. Their new shining success comes from a visionary who recognizes the world-changing potential behind the simply-cool, and then takes the vision, shares it, and makes it into a reality. If we never see past the simply-cool, we'll be stuck in our dark cubicles, never recognizing the power of our programs until it's too late. 

Riding the Twitter Trend

"I'm pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19." Twitter explodes. #ldsconf trends. Sorry Elder Cook, but everyone is still recovering from President Monson. Instantly memes were sprouting out of the ground, everything from joking about the lack of freshman next year to RMs having a change in the dating pool. Being a participant in this phenomena was novel. No longer was conference a solitary experience, but an integration of outside opinions and comments, providing new insights and knowledge. Perhaps this style is the conference of the future. 

Security: A Ticking Time Bomb No One Cares About

The 1980's and today's technology have something in common, security issues are rampant and no one cares until they're exploited. Cliff Stoll was put through the loops by several government and private agencies and was never taken seriously until catastrophe seemed eminent. Even with all the issues surfacing today, people are still reluctant to address critical weaknesses in our computer systems. A PhD from a security firm showed how with around a million dollars a dedicated individual could easily hire enough skill to hack the power grid, destroying the nation's power. Think Revolution. As technology infiltrates other fields the security risk rises. From pacemakers to prison doors, hackers are gaining possible opportunities like never before; until technology is actually built from the ground up with security in mind, this will be the case. As long as deadlines, budgets, and features continue to take precedence over security, we will never be safe.


Book: Cuckoo's Egg

They're Watching You

Too often the media runs a scare campaign revolving around some hardly understood aspect of technology, and it works. From people re-posting links claiming that Facebook maliciously added in new security features, to Google being on the path to world domination (yes, I've heard both), people fear that which they don't understand. This fear cripples them into the borderland of paranoia, making them susceptible to hacks, phishing, and lies. These victims rely on us to remove the mystery from the machine, to make false scare reports ineffective in raising the mass's ignorant cry. We fight the pandemic.

Link to Article: Facebook Is Tracking What Users Buy In Stores To See Whether Its Ads Work

Google Police

Censoring strikes a strong chord in me. I am not sure where I stand for recognizing the when and where censoring is appropriate since it is far out of my experience. I am an admin of the facebook page my apartment complex uses. Most of the time my position is that if something should not have been posted, the users will reprimand that person well enough without me exercising admin privileges. The less I get in the way, the more natural censoring happens. However, I do not have to worry about lives being in danger. My method would not have worked for Google, yet their actions makes me wonder where the line resides. Law has yet to decide how much responsibility internet service companies have over the content their service is carrying, even when it's user generated. Google police starts to sound too much like a 21st century Orwellian antagonist.


Article: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/14/technology/google-blocks-inflammatory-video-in-egypt-and-libya.html

Writing Skill

My untouchable field, computer science, isn't so immortal. HP announced that they're predicting 29,000 job cuts over the next two years. Ouch. Great computer skills do not equate to job security. In lieu of this I recall how several CS professors stress developing good writing skills. When it comes down to the line, those with exceptional communications skills will keep their jobs, while their practically mute counterparts will be on the job-hunt again. For my ideas to be shared, decisions respected, and accomplishments appreciated, I will need to constantly polish my writing abilities.

Link: HP Now Sees 29,000 Job Cuts In Restructuring Plan

My Actual Priorities

Yesterday in my design class we discussed how to gather details from users. The professor mentioned that surveys and plain Q&A interviews mask the details we need because people tend to answer "how they think they should answer." For a different class's seemingly unrelated reading assigment I studied Focus and Priorities by Elder Oaks. These two events provoked the internal question: "What really are my priorities?" I would normally regurgitate the expected "God, family, church, school" but at this moment it wouldn't be true. I would have to earnestly look over how I spent my time to find my actual priorities. Perusing the moments of yesterday reveal a disappointing answer: school, school, work, school, God, more school, and food. I feel imbalanced. 

Learning to Let Go

As suggested by the title, this last semester (during which I have been dreadfully absent from the blogging world) has been trying to teach me to let go. I'll try to summarize a few of the incidents of last semester to help show this lesson.

Dating: (Had to start with a overused yet little understood topic like this.)
 I talk with my family every week on Sunday afternoon. Our discussions, varying by person, range from how good old Las Vegas is doing, my school and work load, adventures, and any signs of my dating life that they can squeeze out of me. During one such conversation with Dad, I expressed my concern that I am very busy with school and work, I have been attending BYU for nigh 3 years, and I had yet to actually date someone (something more than a few first and second dates). This common topic always raises concerns since, although you'd never know that about 50% or so graduates leave without a spouse, marriage and dating are heavily mentioned in almost all facets of BYU life. I was feeling like a failure.

After voicing my fears and feelings of inadequacy to my father, he put dispersed my fears by saying "Ogden, are you doing your best?" "Yes, Dad. I am doing the very best I can." "Then God will take care of you. Stop worrying and let it go. He's not going to deny you anything. He'll handle it - even if it is your dating life. He'll provide opportunities for everything to work out." That really put me at peace. I was definitely working as hard as I could to meet the demands of life. I really didn't see how I was going to have even the slightest dating life that semester, but I took my dad's advice and let my stress-inducing feelings go. I took faith and knew that everything would work out. 

It did. Winter semester was the best dating semester I've ever had. I was dating (never-exclusively - and don't pry because it's NOYB) an awesome girl. We went on several dates that semester and it was wonderful! My semester was still the busiest yet, with massive work loads and projects piling up (every saturday was spent in the Talmage building working on CS projects). Yet in-spite of all that, God took care of me.

Choices:

With the last semester of my junior year, the need to make life changing decisions slammed into my face, put me into an americana hold, and really tried to make me tap out. The main issue was figuring out what to do for after graduation. I really had two choices. Go for a master's degree or go into the career field. I thought, prayed, studied some more, all with no avail. I still had no clue what I should do. Once again the lesson came to me to "Let it go. I'm doing my best. It will be alright." So with that I've decided to apply for both. I'm going to apply for the masters program and I'm going to submit my resumes. When my actual choices are placed before me, I will make the choice. Right now, since there is no way of knowing my options (besides applying) I shouldn't worry about it. I should just keep moving forward doing my best.

So, as I have learned to let go of uncontrollable issues I have become better at feeling peace, being ready for the future, and letting God have more of an influence in the ratification of my decisions. As long as I'm doing my best (which I've always been doing) then God will handle the rest.